Butterflies and Rose

Spending my childhood immersed in nature was great. Summers were spent chasing and catching butterflies, collecting caterpillars and chrysalises and watching them change from one form to another. Even at a young age, their metamorphosis was fascinating. What impressed me most was how caterpillars and chrysalises undergo radical changes and in the process become increasingly beautiful. When their transition was complete, I gained great pleasure watching the butterflies take their first flight.

Joy did not come from controlling the butterflies or moulding them into something I thought they should be, but rather from enjoying them exactly as they were, as they moved through various stages of life. Ownership, control and possession of butterflies had little appeal because happiness and joy do not stem from conditional love or stifling the goals and needs of others. To watch the butterflies develop and determine their unique flight path was what made the experience meaningful.

The difference between the changes people make and the changes butterflies make is that butterflies do not choose to change whereas people may change physically, but can also choose to change mentally and emotionally. Life transitions and making cognitive shifts can be very challenging and like a butterfly taking its first flight they require determination and persistence.

Butterflies are like my dear friend Rose who has confronted various challenges and worked hard to make positive changes in her life. Rose, like a butterfly, needed to determine her course of action based on her perceived needs and desires. Without the proper conditions, people may become hesitant or unwilling to act, in the same way that a butterfly is grounded when its wings are wet. People can become mentally and emotionally grounded when they are not given the time and support necessary to develop properly. Unlike butterflies, they cannot gain sustenance from muddy bogs and emotionally wallowing in one serves no useful purpose.

Rose realized that without trying something she could never fail, but nor could she succeed. Without trying to fly, a butterfly can never take flight.

Given the right conditions, the courageous take off like a newly emerging butterfly whose wings have just dried. The more they fly the more competent they feel. Competence can be quite liberating and they enjoy a newly found freedom. Others shock themselves by flying in spite of having been told repeatedly that they are not good enough, smart enough or something else enough to fly. Still others sit on the sidelines and wish they could fly but cannot summon enough courage to take that initial leap of faith. Their worlds are filled with "what ifs" and life is never lived to its fullest because it is only through risk that life gains meaning. Rose overcame her fear and gained the courage to fly!

Those who choose to fly change from being stationary, slow and dependent like the chrysalis or caterpillar to gaining increased motivation and ever-increasing independence and autonomy like Rose. They take control of their life and strive to make their dreams come true regardless of the odds. They are beautiful and so is their flight.

They may encounter unfriendly air currents along the way but their beauty increases as they move past each hurdle, becoming ever stronger and competent. Their determination is inspiring to those who watch, as they secretly wish to take their own journey. Flight becomes a window through which we can see inner beauty. For beauty is well beyond being wing deep.

The life of butterflies is analogous to relationships and to those who blossom into beautiful human beings in spite of facing major adversity and challenges while growing up. Like butterflies, after significant personal growth and development, people can take flight and begin their own journeys. Each journey is unique and each must find their own way. If one is lucky, they may be invited to fly along side another. Perhaps that is what partnership and love is about, flying together on different journeys and each recognizing and supporting the beauty of the other in full flight!

I love, and feel loved when Rose and I fly together. It is always quite an adventure!

Andy Sibbald ived in the Yukon for 8 years, Nunavut for 10 years and the North West Territories for 2 years, and presently lives in Nanaimo, on Vancouver Island. He has been involved in designing and implementing several healing camps and programs with First Nations and Inuit.

Email: Andy Sibbald

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