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Hollow of the Bell
She looked
ethereal sitting on the back of his Harley-Davidson motorcycle.Curved tight around the massive machine, her tiny,
delicate body was doll-like, her skin snow-pale. If she had been dressed in
white instead of her coal-black leathers, she could have been mistaken for
an angel.
“Today, we’re
gonna forget all about that damn cancer, O.K.?” Judd promised with
conviction.Caroline simply
nodded and gave a blank, hollow stare.Judd envisioned himself heroically squeezing the tumor
out of her stomach, pouring kerosene over it and igniting it.He pictured the flames slowly turn
it into ashes, and then the wind carry the ashes away.Some flames cause pain…some take it away, he thought.And the vision soothed him.
Judd studied
Caroline.Propped by kickstand
alone, the apple-red motorcycle held her effortlessly.She sported a biker vest and chaps,
and looked vivacious, yet frozen in time, as if she’d been captured by a
painter’s brush in a still-life portrait.A turtle-shell helmet crowned her head with its halo,
leaving wisps of butterscotch-colored hair dangling beneath.Each strand was brushed by golden
strobes of sunlight that refracted from her bare shoulders. A sun-induced
aura surrounded her, completing the illusory portrait.
Judd couldn’t
stop looking at her as he loaded up the saddlebags and tightened the Harley
flamed do-rag around his head.She’s frail, he thought, but that’s what makes her so beautiful.
“You ready to
ride, baby?”He asked his
fiancée anxiously.He knew
they had to hurry before it was too late.
Caroline gave a
simple nod, then revealed a shallow smile.She patted the driver’s seat and motioned with a
waiflike arm for him to sit.
Judd first wanted
to make sure his lucky bell was tied securely onto his gear cable. No
larger than a plum, the tinsel-colored bell was specially designed to
capture “evil road spirits.”It had been a gift from Caroline last Christmas and still had the
laminated, handwritten note attached with its spiraling red ribbon.It read:
My Darling J
Legend has it that if you carry a motorcycle
bell on every journey, it will trap evil road spirits in the hollow of the
bell.The spirits will cause
the bell to ring when they try to escape. Eventually, the loud ringing will
become so unbearable for them that the evil spirits will let go and fall
onto the road, never to bother you again.Please ride with this always and be safe.
All my love,
Caroline
He never
rode without it.Sometimes he
wondered if Caroline’s cancer had been caused by an evil road spirit that
had refused to let go.
“Well, babe, it’s
off to Gulfport, Mississippi – the land of rednecks, lovers and bikers –
the land where the sunset kisses the ocean every night!” Judd blared
excitedly over the machine’s growl.“It’s all the things you love, right baby?”
Even though he
didn’t hear an answer, he knew they were headed towards the two things she
loved almost as much as a Harley ride:the ocean and its flaming sunsets – flames he knew would
be healing for Caroline.But
they had to hurry.It was at
least a 3-hour ride from his house in Eudora, Arkansas, and it was already
3 p.m.Sundown was at 7. They
were rapidly running out of time./p>
The minute the
tire treads gripped the roadway, Judd felt as if they were in an
airplane.They glided over the
pristine-white pavement like they were on billowy clouds.The Hog felt feather-light as it
soared toward the horizon that held the healing flames of the sun.
Caroline herself
was so light that Judd felt as if he were riding alone.The metal beast balanced gracefully
around every curve and over each bump. Sometimes, the bike would quiver
slightly, but he couldn’t tell whether it was Caroline shifting in her
seat, or if it was just the wind.He couldn’t even feel her skin against him – just the chilly,
vaporous gap between them.She
wasn’t holding onto his waist like she usually did for warmth.Although he longed for her to hold
him, Judd knew a true biker would never beg his woman to latch on.
As he continued
to gain speed, the early fall air felt cool and misty against his
skin.He began to feel a
oneness with the road and with the other bikers who occasionally rode
past.Judd acknowledged each
one with a fisted biker wave or a peace sign, traditional gestures that
symbolize the camaraderie felt among fellow bikers.Oddly, the bikers were not whooping
or whistling at Caroline, complimentary customs that affirmed a sexy woman
was on back.Judd guessed they
sensed Caroline’s illness, for he could see in his rearview mirror that she
wasn’t responding to the other bikers either.She wasn’t responding to anything at all. She rode
without expression, movement or speech.Her arms dangled limply by her sides.To Judd, she was rapidly becoming
more fragile, hollow inside – like the bell.It was as if they wind were moving through her instead
of around her.
Now highly
concerned about Caroline’s lethargy, Judd decided to take the next exit to
pull something out of the saddlebag for her to drink.He took the first exit ramp at
Tallulah and coasted into a rest area.As the bike slowed, he put his feet on the ground and
scooted the motorcycle towards the restroom.While he footed it across the parking lot, he glanced in
his rearview mirror to peek at Caroline. But instead of seeing her face, a
starburst of glints from the afternoon sun struck his eyes like miniature
lightening bolts.The
brilliant bolts momentarily blinded him.When he tried to blink the sunspots from his vision, he
noticed between blinks that Caroline’s reflection wasn’t in the mirror – it
was as if she had evaporated.His body flooded with fear, so he instinctively jerked his head
around to see if she was still on the bike.He blinked several more times to rid himself of the
floating black circles.They
swarmed like flying insects trapped within the globes of his eyes.Quickly, the spots faded, and
Caroline materialized once again into his field of vision.Judd gave a nervous, yet relieved,
laugh.For a split second he
had actually believed that her fragile form had fallen off the bike and
splattered onto the pavement somewhere.
Judd thrust his
kickstand down and dismounted the bike, cowboy-style.
“You doin’ O.K.?”
He asked Caroline, his heart still racing.
She gave a gaunt
smile and shrugged.As he
checked her over, Judd was impressed by the freshness of her
appearance.Her clothes
weren’t disheveled from the wind; no sweat or dust covered her body; no
road grime painted her skin.She is so perfect.Even the harshness of nature can’t
flaw her, he thought.
“You look
beautiful,” he told her, gazing at her with adoring eyes.
Unfortunately,
Judd knew that nature had not been so kind to his body.He could smell his own maleness
wafting through his clothes.Salty trickles of sweat intermingled with the gritty road grime that
had crept into the crevasses of his body.
Before tending to
his hygiene, Judd grabbed a bottle of spring water from the saddlebag and
offered it to Caroline.Instantly, she put her hand up in front of her face and shook her
head in protest.Judd was then
shocked at what he saw – the hand she had placed over her face no longer
appeared waiflike – it was bony, almost skeletal.Why hadn’t he noticed this sooner?Was he in denial about her
deterioration?
Quickly, he
blinked the skeletal image out of his mind as some picnickers at a pavilion
nearby began to distract him. Two very small girls in pink were bursting
with shrill squeals of delight as they played chase around the table.Their mother patiently stood by
while wrapping up the remains of their meal.The father, wearing black-rimmed glasses, wiped
his chin with a napkin, looked Judd’s way, smiled and waved.A buff-haired boy, probably 12 or
13, was lying in the grass tossing a baseball.The nerdy-looking father laid his napkin down, stood up
and walked towards them with a lanky stride.
“Hey, that’s a
great bike,” he said with a note of envy resonating from his voice.He walked closer.“Bet you get a lot of hot chicks
with that thing, huh?” he added with a perverted grin on his face.
Judd was a little
taken aback that the man would make such a statement in the presence of
Caroline.Immediately, he
tried to downplay its offense.
“Oh, it’s not for
attracting chicks,” he said honestly.“It’s just for pleasure.”
“I’ll bet,” the man said with a wink.“Have a safe trip.” The man then
walked gallantly away.
Judd shrugged the
man off and turned towards the restroom.“I’ll be right back,” he promised Caroline.
A few moments
later, Judd came out of the restroom and noticed that the buff-haired boy
from the picnic site was standing beside his bike.“Can I touch it?” the boy asked
politely.
At first, the boy
simply clinched the grips with both hands and ran his fingers down the
handlebars. Next, he traced the outline of the seat, then began patting the
softness of its leather as if Caroline weren’t even there.At this point, Judd became
infuriated as the boy’s pre-adolescent, “untamed” hands got closer to his
woman.He watched Caroline
squirm backwards in her seat.
“I wish you
wouldn’t do that, kid – it’s bothering her,” Judd said with edginess in his
voice.
“Wow,” the boy
said, revealing a silvery glimmer of braces as a smile erupted.“You call your bike a ‘she’?That’s pretty cool.O.K.Sorry mister.I’ll leave her
alone.Really nice bike,
though, man.See ya.”
Judd didn’t feel
like explaining or responding and was glad when the boy walked away from
the conversation.“There are
some whacked people in Tallulah,” he said under his breath.
When Judd motioned for
Caroline to scoot up on the seat, she robotically repositioned herself, all
the while remaining vacant with silence. Judd mounted the Iron Horse once
again and started the engine. He couldn’t wait until they reached the
ocean.It was vital that they
get there before sunset.
After another hour of riding, a run-down school bus packed with
clamorous kids began to pass them, its large yellow-jacketed body creating
a wind socket that jostled the motorcycle.After it edged its way around the bike, Judd felt
something wet and sticky douse his head.“Shit!” he said when he realized one of the bus kids had
poured a cola out his window.He looked in his rearview mirror to see how wet Caroline was.She was desert dry.“Damn, you lucked out didn’t you?”
he asked loudly.Her reply was
inaudible.
Judd’s eyes
reverted back to the road again, and that’s when he noticed the changes in
the sky.The seams of daylight
were beginning to crack; a foreshadowing that the slivers of twilight were
about to seep through.The
last remnants of the sun were fizzling into pink and violet flecks against
the sky’s background.Time is running out, Judd
thought, and he opened the throttle.
Finally, he could
smell it, feel it - the salty ocean air, the wave-roused winds.To his right, the ocean began to
exhibit its coastal brilliance along the outskirts of the highway.The sun, no longer hot across his
back, was about to kiss the edge of the ocean.“Get ready baby,” he said.
Since he’d been a
boy, Judd had always imagined that the flames of the sun hissed and sizzled
when they touched the enormous sea basin, creating the colorful hues of the
watery sunset before the sun dipped its way to the other side of the
earth.And now he was about to
witness this magnificent flame-filled event, once again.
Flames.Suddenly, as if he’d snapped out of a weeklong daydream,
Judd remembered why he was here.
He had finally
reached Gulfport’s public beach, so he pulled over into a barren parking
lot near the dunes.He glanced
back at the empty passenger seat, then leaned over and unhooked the
miniature urn from the chain beneath his handlebars.He placed the tiny pewter jar
against his chest and gently walked across the beach towards the
shoreline.
Judd poured the
contents of the ashes of Caroline and her tumor into his hand and tossed
them towards the massive surges of water. A brisk wind momentarily swirled
the gray matter in a wind dance, then let go.A flaming reflection of the sun beckoned the ashes
forward.
Judd’s mind
drifted to a few weeks before.
Caroline
was lying in a hospital bed, her breathing shallow.Lovingly, she whispered to him: “Don’t
spend the money on a coffin, baby.Just take me to the ocean and set me free.”
Then the memory
vanished and his heart withered.
“You’re free
baby,” Judd whispered.Caroline floated out to sea, each lap of the waves carrying her
closer to a realm without pain or sorrow, a place where she could ride
without holding on, where the sun would kiss the ocean forever.He knew that the flames of
cremation had removed the evidence of her earthly pain, but he also knew that
the flames of the sunset would ignite her soul with eternal peace.
In the distance,
he could hear his motorcycle bell jingling faintly in the wind.Judd knew it was time to ride the
wind back home
Melinda Neeley is a freelance writer from Morrilton, Arkansas, with a degree in
journalism. Her published
writings include feature articles in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (a state newspaper), straight news
and feature articles in the Log
Cabin Democrat (a local Conway, AR, newspaper), and poetry in a
regional publication titled, Reflections, a Poetry Quarterly.
She has also served as editor of several local newsletter publications and
has been a publications assistant for an accredited university.Currently, she and her husband run
their own construction firm and she writes for pleasure.
Melinda Neeley
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