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If I Were Perfect - a Sestina
What would I be like if I were perfect?
I'd drink less, finally do some exercise,
Go to a Yoga class and meditate.
I'd read a book a week, watch no TV.
Of course I'd write five hundred words a day,
Love you much more, my dear, and also pray.
But I have lost the faith and do not pray,
Which is the reason I am not perfect.
I waste my time and never plan the day
Or knuckle down to do my exercise
(Instead I sleep in front of the TV),
Nor motivate myself to meditate.
Now if I really did go meditate
And miraculously began to pray
And even stopped watching any TV,
I would surprise my friends by being perfect.
They'd marvel how I stick to exercise,
How I get the utmost out of a day
By meticulously structuring that day.
They'd ask how I find time to meditate
And regularly do my exercise.
They'd say he even goes to church to pray;
How disciplined he is and so perfect.
Why he doesn't even own a TV!
The truth is I drink beer and watch TV,
Lie around and do nothing the whole day.
I think it's dead boring to be perfect;
I have no willpower to meditate,
And would God answer me were I to pray?
What's more I simply hate all exercise.
Yet deep down I still yearn for exercise
And dream of smashing that blasted TV.
What if I did sincerely start to pray?
My life would change and I could fill the day
With work and love and then I'd meditate,
Sit on the carpet and be just perfect,
Perfect and bored from too much exercise.
So I won't meditate. I'll watch TV,
Ruin my day, but, just in case, I might pray.
Sonnet II
I once sent a sonnet to my father
With a letter asking for some money.
Looking back, why the hell did I bother?
He didn't understand, thought the poem funny
Though it was sad - we never could relate
When it came round to talking about life;
To me he always was a real cheapskate
Who'd drag the family into constant strife.
Maybe he couldn't help being that way
And was passing on a lot of his crap.
Psychology was unknown in his day;
Instead of love he got the razor strap.
Needless to say he didn't send the cash
And now he's just a little heap of ash.
Roger Bonner, a native Swiss, grew up in Los Angeles, California.
He has published poetry, short stories, and won prizes in England. In the USA,
his work has appeared in Cross Connect, The Drunken Boat, Thunder Sandwich,
Sliptongue and Delmarva Review. His illustrated book of humorous stories
Swiss Me, published by Bergli Books Switzerland (www.bergli.ch), is now in its second printing.
Web Site
Email: Roger Bonner
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