Featured Writer: Misha Firer

Modern-day Invisible Man

I am an invisible man. No, I am not a
spook like those who haunted Edgar
Allan Poe; nor am I one of your
Hollywood-movie ectoplasms. I am a man
of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and
liquids –and I might even be said to possess
a mind. I am invisible, understand,
simply because people refuse to see me.


Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man


I came to America six years ago, but it could’ve been sixteen or sixty. I believe the airport computer registered me when I arrived. By now it’s a blip of information completely unrelated to me, to me as a person, as an individual. 

I’m 29 years old, but I could be 19, 39 or say 49. At first I was a tourist, an optimistic, herd-driven bus seat occupier on the double-decker taking me around New York City along with other spaced-out souls on a beautiful autumn day.

Some months later, when I ran out of status, money and illusions, I applied to the community of my compatriots for help, and was told to go back where I came from, namely to our motherland. “It's every man for himself here. We are not a government-- we can’t issue papers for you. Neither can we fix you up with a job, because it’s illegal, so scurry along.”

I wasn’t discouraged -- in the early days I was optimistic, stoic. I approached my community’s mobsters for a job. They were eager to assist me for a reasonable kickback. They sent me to clean floors in some corporate superstores in Michigan. Even in those days I had serious problems with my kidneys and the copious amounts of chemicals on this job promised to completely annihilate my health. I’m not much of a blue-collar worker anyway, so I resolved to wriggle out of my predicament.

I did some independent analysis and contacted the Boss in New York. “I figured out the corporate system, and saw your part in it, and I believe I can use my command of English, and my brains to make you more money.”

I was proven to be right. My boss sent me a Greyhound ticket back to New York and gave me a job stealing from the Gap and Banana Republic stores.

I have an ambivalent relationship with corporations –like in marriage –I love them, I hate them. They use me; I use them.

I can’t relate the details of our scam, because it’s my bread and butter, and besides my mobster Boss would kill me if I told you. I'll just give you a general outline. It has to do with buying merchandise and when the stuff goes on sale, you go back with pre-sale receipts and exchange it repeatedly. Zero productivity, useless work for the employees, a means of survival for illegal aliens like me.

A nice corporate job with flexible hours, no chemicals. There is just one problem. Corporate management knows about the scam, although they don’t police it, because it would complicate and encumber their whole system of sale and exchange, so they figure it’s better to lose a few million a year, than to have to revamp their entire system.

But the damn managers always make my life hard. I should mention that almost all of the Gap Inc. managers in the five boroughs know my face. And naturally the moment they see it in their store they try to get rid of me, disrupting my business. Consequently I have to travel further and further from New York City to New Jersey, Long Island, Connecticut and Upstate where the managers don't know me.

>I don't make a whole lot of money, in fact, barely enough to rent half a room in a Brooklyn apartment, or a compartment in the basement. I change my place of habitation every other month; I must keep moving. I fear that if I stop, if I begin to live in a certain slum for a longer stretch of time, I will wind up staying there forever. Being constantly on the move creates an illusion that this state of life is temporary, that a day will come, and I believe that that day will come soon, when I start leading a decent life.

I share my rental with droves of illegal immigrants from my country. I don't see much of them -- they work swing and graveyard.

Women. That is a serious problem. No woman wants to associate with me. I have no legal status and no normal work -- a combination that robs me of my manhood. Yet again, a corporation – Microsoft, saves me. The Internet and its anonymous dating sites provide me with a forum to create a marketable self. I tried city women, but soon realized that they were of a higher class and would never condescend to spend time with me.

White trash land, trailer parks. Women from welfare families, underprivileged, don't care about my status, don't expect expensive dinners, gifts etc. They are simple, without that city smart-ass demeanor, open and easy. Of course until it comes to a serious relationship, then they become skeptical like city women.

And so my Greyhound odyssey begins. I skip a day or two of work, buy a bus ticket and ride up to Utica, New York or down to Ephrata, Pennsylvania to fuck overweight white trash. Somehow, it turns into another version of the Gap; I have to go further and further from New York in search of trashier and trashier women to find any that are willing to consort with me.

Sometimes I want to flee New York altogether, but of course it is impossible. I have no driver’s license and neither can I get one after 9-11. And furthermore, there are no jobs for me out there. I don't have any desire to return to scrubbing corporate floors.

So, here I remain, in Manhattan, the dream island. I walk and no one notices me. Minus me the crowd is intact; with me, it makes no difference. Often I have out of body experiences. It’s like my body is walking, performing all the tasks it is supposed to perform, but my mind is somewhere else, well, nowhere else. Gone. Evaporated. As for my identity, I lost it long time ago. After two years in America, all I want is not to turn into a beast. Taking one day at a time is the only alternative.

Talk about empathy. For instance, when I tell this story in my accented (but not heavily) English, people shrug and say, “We've heard it a million times before”; when I write it all down and submit it for publication, they say, “It’s corny.” You see my stance is not original; in fact it’s mundane. So, they, one of whom is probably you, tell me, “Go back where you came from. We have television if we need entertainment.”

I don’t need television. I need human contact. I must have it. It’s necessity, like the craving to eat or have sex, when you are long denied it. Every morning I buy coffee at McDonald’s, which is my favorite restaurant. I usually start complaining right away. You see, the associates treat people like customers, like important nonentities, which is no good to me, because I have a human contact deficiency. I need human contact. I need to talk. I need to be treated as an individual. So I use the opportunity to the maximum. I complain about the coffee, and the girl apologizes, but I’m adamant, I keep pushing, claiming my rights of a customer. And she first freezes, all nerves, but I sort of melt her, talk to her, make her talk to me. And she does. Little by little. We have a conversation.

But then those bastards, those customers behind me in line begin to complain too. I jump on that opportunity and so we all shout and scream at one another. And I feel much better. Here, there is human contact, even if not entirely positive.

Recharged with communicative energy I proceed to my job. Not much communication here though. The moment I walk through the door, the manager already spots me -- the thief. Which doesn’t mean that I am someone, that I have substance, that I am a person, with identity and personality and character. No, I’m a violator, a nuisance, a pain in the butt. Because the moment I walk into Gap or Banana Republic they start trying to get rid of me. There’s this passive aggressive energy directed my way, in quantity enough to make five serial killers out of me. Everyone, managers and associates, radiates it; bathe me in it. You lousy thief. But you see they can’t call the police, they can’t tell me explicitly to get out. Because technically I am a customer, and the customer is always right, right?

So I “shop” alongside frenzied women and busy men, who all look dead serious, as if shopping is no fun anymore, but rather an obligation, a mandatory social activity. And perhaps it is, after all shopping keeps the economy humming. I’m a “counter-shopper,” so what?

I run from store to store in the Tri-state area until late in the evening and then I’m in Times Square. They have that Internet Café, the largest in the world, Easy Everything, it’s called, where there are eight hundred computers and about that amount of space monkeys punching away at the keys, looking for human contact. We are all looking for it. First mass media took it away from us, and then sold us back all these high-tech, super-duper gadgets like cell phones and Internet connections, making us pay monthly service fees, turning a nice profit out of it. Made us pay for our need for human contact, which they had single-handedly stripped from us.

Marriage. I met my wife in the Easy Everything Internet Café on Times Square. Her name (I think it won’t hurt if I say her real name here, perhaps it will help to bring her back, who knows) is Dama. When I got acquainted with her from Times Square she lived in Maine with her parents in a trailer park. Now I don’t know where she lives. Could be anywhere.

Two days later I was riding a Greyhound to Maine with a Gap present, a nice sweater. A big surprise awaited me. Dama wasn’t overweight-- in fact she was beautiful. Like some teenage fool I fell in love with her on the spot. Perhaps I had been alone for too long. Or perhaps she was really special, in some way.

And because I had all those feelings, all those condensed emotions targeted at one particular girl, at Dama, I didn’t tell her about my lack of status and job opportunities. You see I didn’t want to lose her. I lost every woman I had ever been with upon telling them about my status and my job. Real deal breakers. So this time I kept my mouth shut.

Catch-22. American women don’t want to deal with me, don’t want to consider marrying me, because I have neither legal status nor job. Marriage to an American citizen is the only way I can achieve this status, and thus any means of supporting a family.

Dama was a teenager, literally, nineteen years of age. And from the way I was dressed and the way I behaved myself, as a gentleman -- I believe that’s the word -- she thought I was the one who could take her away from her white trash village on the Canadian border.

Dama decided on the spot to run away with me, so I ordered a taxi. The taxi arrived and her parents made a scene. Somehow Dama and I managed to get into the backseat while Dama’s father ran back to the trailer to get his rifle. I guess the driver figured it out because he sped away as if he was in some Hollywood action movie.

We went to New York and got married. And then soon she saw what my reality was like. She got pregnant and ran away again. Hooked up with some gang, didn’t know any better. I looked for her. I found her. Brought her back to my half room in the Brooklyn basement. She called her parents. Her parents came and picked her up in the fourth month of her pregnancy. She left me. I called her. She said, “Get lost, loser.”

Then she gave birth and let me come visit our daughter Betsy -- a DNA test proved me to be her father. Dama let me visit her once a month. But then something happened. Dama moved away and her parents refused to communicate with me and tell me her new address.

I hired a lawyer and he said not to even think about trying to locate my wife. In fact, I was supposed to be grateful that she didn’t call the INS to have me deported. Because I didn’t have rights, any rights, let alone the right to visit my child. According to the law she wasn’t even my child, she was Dana’s child. Which is a chauvinistic law. Men are stripped of all responsibilities to care for the children they sire, except for paying alimony. Men pay for the privilege of not being with their family. So men pay and women take care of the children. And that was what my lawyer said to me, “Don’t even think about locating your child and your wife.”

I’m in New York again, my fourth year in America. I’m a hunchback these days. And my kidneys are failing me. I can’t visit a doctor. I don’t have money to pay him under the table. And I have problems with my digestive system from all that crap I eat at McDonald’s. Still no friends and no lovers. Quiet desperation, dull depression.

I speak to my boss and he tells me, “Just keep your head above water. It took me nine years to buy a fake Green Card.”

As I said before, the loss of my identity doesn’t bother me that much. But it is the first link in the chain reaction of my downfall. What bothers me in my sixth illegal year in America is the incremental loss of my humanity. You can’t see it in my appearance. I am nicely dressed and nicely sprayed with nice perfume. The loss is all within. I am turning into an animal. Instincts are all that remain of me. I stop talking -- with whom anyway? Sometimes I utter just a few sentences in the entire day, while surrounded by millions of people. Animal instincts, that’s all I am preoccupied with. They enhance and augment me, until they are all I care about, until they consume my whole being, gnawing away my humanity in its entirety.

A shy man by nature, all of a sudden I begin to have many lovers. Never much of a violent person, I initiate physical fights with my roommates. And I eat food using no utensils: I re-conceptualize the joys of McDonald’s where I can eat in a pre-civilization, pre-fork sort of a way, operating with my bare hands.

I think I had the delusion that if I started behaving differently, people would recognize my presence, would start communicating with me but apparently not in New York. If before my transformation, people walked through me, now they walked around me. I managed to create a square foot no-man’s land around my body. I manage to completely erase myself from the space-and-time continuum.

McDonald’s associates stop arguing with me. They just ignore me. When I make too much of a scene they let me have my coffee for free: and that -- in front of all the other envious customers. First Banana Republic’s managers, and then Gap’s, begin to throw me out of their stores. Literally. They don't bother about any customer-is-always-right crap or store ethics. They want the beast out. Pronto.

So I go to my boss. And ask him to help me. And he says, “Everyone is on his own in this country. You gotta help yourself, buddy.”

I am outside now. It’s cold. It’s windy. And it’s lonely. This is an uninhabited island, Manhattan is. Everyone for himself and herself on this island. I learned my lesson well. I am a modern-day invisible man. But there is a euphemism for it that has a nice ring to it, “illegal alien.”

I walk through the streets of New York and no one sees me. I try to talk to the people, but they scurry away. I am completely alone.



Misha Firer is a 25-year-old writer from Ulyanovsk, Russia who now resides in Oakland, California. After serving in the Israeli Defense Forces and slacking in Amsterdam he incidentally wound up in the USA, where he started writing in English. His short stories can be found in BIG News, Laundry Pen, Nuvein, Paumanok Review, Pink Chameleon, Rose & Thorn, Scarlet Letters, Slow Trains, Taint, Vestal Review and Word Riot.

Misha Firer

Return to Table of Contents

p align="center">