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The Last Fall
You died last night, at last, NFR
but only after they did the heroics
and dragged you out of a cardiac arrest.
You were so cross.
Then soon another:
your wish.
I delete the photos of us,
of you.
The last few years in pain
the visible breakdown.
Memories should have strength.
You tried to get the nembutal
a year ago - forbidden. We have to watch
ourselves decrepitate in slow motion
and worse, have to let all those who know us
watch our decay.
And not everybody loves us. There is the extra burden
of humiliation, to be wheeled out on show
propped on a commode
all orifices dribbling.
Your life was well lived
you had choice
in the end no choice at all
but to witness the decomposing of self,
the insensitivity of our own betrayal.
Integrity lost to indignity
inability to change the law.
We share your frustration
that we must share your wither
the inelegant breakdown
where truth is filmed by drugs
you cannot control.
Yesterday you got the strength to row
across the river leaving us;
so brave to know the future.
I sit by my river, colour and quiet
thoughts time-sensual.
Hymns flute the Magdalene sky
birds twirl dusk into halos
setting, glass wings shine.
Susan Adams is a Research Scientist and an Australian poet who has been published in anthologies, online and print literary journals both in Australia and internationally. She has been read on ABC Radio National 'Poetica', All in The Mind' and '360'. Recent publications have included Eureka Street, Nth Position (UK), Great Works (UK), Eclecticism, Sugarmule (USA), Hecate, and Social Alternatives.
Email: Susan Adams
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